Smear me in silver, as I watch your fingertips slowly getting into the liquid, as I shiver expecting the cold as you trace the paint upon my lips and I swallow a bit.
You kiss me and you swallow the cold too.
I keep grinning for a bit and you just play with a hair also for a bit.
The silence seems to be awkward with no music around besides my sudden humming and the bright sparkles now from my sweater.
It’s our first halloween and your hands are trembling a bit too much.
We’ve just kissed a few times and I know about your divorce, so we just smoke instead and it feels like sex.
I don’t mind it, raising my hands, telling you that this is what I’ve had for years and years, a bit too loud, eyes looking up and you just kiss me again, your tongue slowly making your way in.
I think your kids are hidden, like the insides of a pumpkin we just threw out.
They’re at Karen’s. Kate is at Jamie’s and we’re in between smearing silver paint over my face, because I didn’t come up with a costume but I wanted to be in silver with an old black sweater which most likely I’ve stolen from Jamie back when I thought myself to be cold and he’d just shove it in my hands just when his whole idea came along.
“M?” I don’t say anything and you just stand up to wrap your arms around me, nuzzle my neck with your nose and I still fee-
No, I don’t. So I try to ease but I still feel the flirtation with tension on stage and how your lips were sacred and I would touch them and you would flinch, as I were Jamie now and you were my Alison, only I wanted to bang you badly, badly.
“Same.” and you start biting my neck. It feels like I’m losing virginity for the first time, but knowing that once it’s in, you just grin and that’s it. Your love doesn’t change, well, it grows, but there is no massive throw, it’s hidden at first, the care, God, it just swallows you.
Like grabbing straight after an orgasm and holding tight, maybe crying, maybe not, I don’t know yet, all I know is that I want a hug, so I hug you, tight.
And you smile and we’re back at our shy pace and I wonder if we’ll just keep it up by touching ourselves to each other.
We go upstairs and I wonder how long would you take to brush your teeth and I keep thinking of you. My fingers slip down and I touch myself. I want you to watch. And you do. You sit on the edge of the bed as my cheeks go red and I just don’t feel my age as your hand travels up my thigh and fuck, I moan, you shiver slightly.
“Stop being so nervous.” And I sit up grabbing you and we glance fast, making sure that we’re both nervous and collapse on the bed, making out and I forget about the silver on my face as you take it off with your fingers and leave love bites of it on the sheets as you thrust.
I’m still nervous, I think or maybe I convince myself.
I think I start hearing my own humming in the morning and I wake nervous with Jack. It still feels like it’s still the act and everything just seems to fly off and I wonder if it will snow this october.
And it feel isolated. I don’t know.
Maybe it’s a dream but the bed is stained and there is silver everywhere even when I close my eyes with my hands and I smile through them.
I don’t know if I want you to wake up or not, maybe I want to leave you dying there and then just crawl to your grave on the funeral, maybe get buried with you, but most likely I’ll stand like in that wedding only the lovers go under ground this time.
I just sit there and I think you’re awake and you stare back, half your face is under the covers.
It feels like this will forever be awkward, so I just try to find some clothes and I think I shake just like you did and you keep watching me, already dressed, as I get into the kitchen.
It’s too empty.
I get orange juice.
I get you orange juice too.
I don’t think
it shouldn’t be this empty.
And I wake you up again. I have the idea of pouring orange juice all over you and liking it, but I don’t tell, just yet and I just rub your shoulder slightly. You wake up and we suggest each other finishing the pumpkins even if Halloween is over, it doesn’t feel like it. I think we should make it a week and get more paint.
Fuck, get the whole house in paint.
I ruffle your hair.
Smile, I smile.
“Winter.” I say later my back against your body as you lay, your eyes sometimes cheating to look on something else to ease you. I take your hand.
“What about it?” You ask and I just well, keep talking. “Just saw winter really. Dunno.”
We both keep silent, holding hands, maybe looking at the same wall.
And I look back.
I think I hear Jamie sing. I think I am sitting in front of him and he is singing. He has keys.
Or maybe it’s the next soundtrack on reverse.
You don’t love two.
You love the second, there was something wrong with the first.
An Alison/Jack request by an anon.
Sorry, took two days to write as I've been a bit exhausted and a bit short on time, but I'm here and fuck, I love it. XD
Why Wild Charms? The last bit with Jamie came up as I was listening to Wild Charms and it just seemed appropriate, really.
You Know I Look Like A Woman